A Terrible Lesbian's Opinion On Russia: Why Do We Care What They're Doing?

So I’m going to get off the travel topic a little bit, and focus instead on just some basic, world-wide, human rights issue’s real quick. Don’t worry, we’ll get back to the regularly scheduled, travel-related programming soon (like my plans to throw 40 tons of tomatoes at people in a couple days). I want to talk a little bit about what’s going on in Russia right now in the context of the queer community and the actions being taken against them, against us.

“You’re the worst lesbian I’ve ever met” my friend told me.

“Yeah, I’m aware. I just don’t care.” Although my faux-hawked hair, Subaru, and vegetarianism did give me some street cred as a walking stereotype.

The first time I came out to someone was nearly 8 years ago, and I’ve been publically out and open to anyone that cares to barge that far into my business for about 4 years now. When I first started telling people that I was attracted to other women, I made myself a few promises. First, I swore that I would never, ever, let my sexual orientation define what I could or could not do in my life. I will do what I want, and I will follow my heart where it takes me, and my sexuality will in no part play any role in my decision making.

The second thing was not so much a promise to myself as it was just a fact that I knew to be true. Being gay was not who I was. Let me say that again, being gay is not who I am. Period. It is simply another facet of myself. The fact that I snowboard when I need to clear my head, I find traveling to be the greatest thrill in life, or that I wish I could live as a character of Toy Story (Buzz Lightyear preferably) makes up no more or less a part of me than my attraction to the female demographic of society.

“I haven’t decided yet if I’m coming to the party. I’m not really a huge fan of gay-themed parties.”

“Ha! You’re funny! I’ll see you there” she responded, not realizing that I wasn’t actually joking.

Election night, 2012. Capitol Hill, Seattle.

I think often times in the queer community, it becomes a challenge. It’s almost as if putting 50 people of various sexualities in one room suddenly makes your sexuality less valid, and now, you must prove that you are, in fact, gay enough. It’s like the rainbow flag in my window, my unwavering support of gay-rights issues, and, oh yeah, the fact that I actually am gay, is suddenly called into question because of my lack of interest in glitter, Ke$ha, and the need to flamboyantly announce myself on the world. I have nothing against anyone who is a fan of Ke$ha, or flamboyancy, although I will never understand the desire to have glitter still on your clothes 4 months after the party because that shit NEVER GOES AWAY.

So why am I saying all of this? Because not all of us non-heterosexuals are the same. We are all individual humans. We have different interests, desires, beliefs, and stories to tell. But we all still face many of the same struggles and celebrations also.

“I’m not allowed to come over anymore because my dad doesn’t like that you’re a lesbian.” My first taste at direct discrimination from a friend’s family in high school.

“Dad, I can get married now!!!” A text I sent when Governor Gregoir signed same-sex marriage into law in Washington state.

“I can walk you down the aisle now.” His response.

Terrible lesbian or no, I’ve never wavered in my support of same-sex rights and, in fact, have actually been a fairly vocal advocate for them. My love of travel, though, does influence my actions a little bit. I don’t, obviously, stick to only developed, Western nations when I travel (they’re too expensive anyways!). I love to experience cultures, and have experiences I wouldn’t generally have without having gone in search of them on my own. My first time out of the country was to rural Kenya, I currently live in a conservative Moroccan city. Are these places where I generally walk down the street shouting “I’M GAY! I’M GAY!” Oh hell no. That would be suicide. Literally.

When I travel to places like Morocco, or Kenya, or whatever the hell else the world may take me, I go back into the closet. Voluntarily. My love of travelling overrides my need to be out and proud 24/7. While I have gotten into some amazing conversations with people in these countries about gay rights, and learned very much from them, it’s also not my culture. It is not my place to come in and say “Here is what you should be doing.” Even if it is what they should be doing. But change must be internal. The people of these countries need to make the change on their own (then maybe one day I can be out and open when I travel).  And they are. Little by little. While I’ve definitely had some gut-wrenching moments in my travels, I also see enough hopeful changes that I believe the good is outweighing the bad, overall at least. Like Uganda’s second annual gay-pride parade that just happened.

But things aren’t improving everywhere. Many places, they’re disintegrating. Rapidly.

I’m sure many, if not most or all of you have followed to some degree the latest that has been coming out of Russia in regards to gay-rights. Putin, in all his manliness, has declared it illegal to essentially even tell children there’s such a thing as being gay. Russia has vowed to arrest and deport any gay athletes that show up to the 2014 Olympic Games in Sochi. And, unofficially, people are being beaten and tortured. All because they fell in love.  

This is heartbreaking. It’s an awful state that our world is in right now, truly. And all of the members of the Russian queer community should know that they have the support of their worldwide queer community every day. But here is my issue with all of the coverage on Russia lately: Why are we only looking at Russia?

The press went absolutely ape-shit when all of this started coming to light in Russia in the past month or so. Suddenly it was this huge tragedy that everyone cared so deeply about, and the internet seemed to have a feeding frenzy over any sort of story about the topic. But why? Why do we suddenly, out of nowhere, care so much about what Russia has to say about gay-rights?

A 2010 study found that there are 5 countries in the world that, as a law, say punishment for engaging in same-sex behavior is death. And those are only the countries that actually took the time to make it a law, it’s the reality in many more places. In addition to those 5 countries, there are 77 countries in the world that criminalize consensual sexual acts between two people of the same gender (oddly enough, many only criminalize male-male relations, and choose to ignore that women are sexual beings too all together). That’s 82 countries total around the world that, in some fashion, criminalize being gay. There are 196 countries in the world (depending on which country you report from, and who your politics actually recognize as a country), which means that 42% of the world criminalizes homosexuality.

So once again, why are we giving Russia all the attention here? With all due respect, it can be a lot worse than Russia. I am in no way condoning what they’re doing, but, I guess what I’m saying is this:

If I’m going to be out somewhere, Russia is not the bottom of my choices.

So how about we start recognizing that this is a real world-wide problem. Why are Africa and the Middle East being held to a lower standard? Let’s give some countries that aren't full of only white people some attention. And let’s give them that attention because what they’re doing is wrong. Not because they’re hosting the Olympics so it suddenly matters to us.